...continued

I thought of two new pet peeves today, which I thought I could add before anyone took notice, but you people had to like them so much. Here's the one I thought of today...


7. Whenever you see something and you don't understand why it's there, so you ask, "why is such-a-such thing there for?" and I guess there's some sort of spiritual intervention because someone ALWAYS has to come up with this blisteringly 'witty' reply; "Just to make you ask questions."

I mean, if you've EVER heard this once, it never bears repeating so long as your ear drums can withstand life after hearing it the first time. But oh no, there always has to be someone who was raised on the wit of doorknob who just HAS to give you no information -mostly because they don't know themselves- in the form of what has to be the ultimatum of idiocy. I've decided the next time I hear someone say this I'm going to build an atom splitter the size of New York City and aim it at this persons house. Which is probably not a house but a trailer with beer cans littered all over the floor alongside ripped out Hussler pages that are Scotch-taped onto the walls.


8. Sometimes when I hear a person giving a speech on how they don't want to live their lives or whatnot, and they'll say something along the lines of "I don't want to lead one of those lives where I have a house in suburbia, a sports car, a minivan and an SUV, a blonde wife with two and a half kids..." and some moronic person will laugh at this and say something like "TWO AND A HALF KIDS?!/1!?!?!!? HOW DO YOU HAVE HALF A KID???? I THINK YOU MADE A MISTAKE, HAHAHA WOW WAS THAT CLUMSY OF YOU!! OOPSIES!!!! EXPLAIN YOURSELF OUTTA THIS ONE!!! HAHAHAHA OH MAN, I DON'T THINK THAT'S POSSIBLE!!!"



Whenever I think back to that point of unparalleled asininity, I'll picture the person in question later in the day, eating a grease-ridden hamburger from a truck stop, while watching the latest OC episode, chuckling to themselves as they think back to how they totally showed that person up. At that point my imagination becomes infuriated at me for wasting it on something that deserves to be on 2 fast 2 furious and somehow starts incorporating zombies and ninjas.



That's all for this instant, but on March 2nd expect a particularly awesome surprise!

Pet Peeves

If any of you have done these, I probably only pretend to be your friend.


1. When people are giving an explanation of themselves and they say "I like to have fun".

...Are you serious? Of course you like to have fun. Who doesn't like to have fun? Unless this person doesn't ever have fun because they lead a life where they try to do as little as possible and when they're actually having fun, it's a milestone, and a time to think back kindly on. And you can tell that they actually try to do as little as possible, if they're coming up with lines like 'I like to have fun' when they have to describe themselves.


2. When people say "just smile and nod".

Shut up, you aren't original.


3. When your birthday was like a week ago, and someone will ALWAYS say "happy belated birthday"(emphasis mine).

YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST PERSON TO SAY THIS AND YOU ARE STUPID AND YOUR MOTHER PROBABLY SLITS HER WRISTS BECAUSE AT ONE POINT YOU WERE GROWING INSIDE HER.
The people I usually hear this phrase from are the people who I'll never hear use 'belated' in any other context.


4. There's this one art poster in the school that says "Depression: The number one reason for teen suicide".

When I first read this I seriously wanted to burn down the school or rent a wrecking ball to wreck the building, and write a check that I wiped my butt with and charge it to the school administration.

First off(and I wish I didn't have to explain it as much as I do), is there any other reason behind suicide? The only idea that could come to my mind was if you were to do it by accident. Like if you were cleaning your gun... with your tongue.
But lo and behold, dictionary.com disproves even this theory...

su·i·cide (s-sd)
n.

1. The act or an instance of intentionally killing oneself.
2. One who commits suicide.

Secondly, why is it limiting itself to teen suicide? Maybe because the artist was narrowing their audience to teens and less likely to be found out that they deserve to somehow kill themselves without depression being a factor.


5. When people say a line they hear all the time, but don't know what it's from and they sound stupid and it makes me want to go back in time and step on a butterfly so that there's no chance of them ever coming to existence and no one will ever remember you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i.e.(and I don't mean Internet Explorer) When you are ready to tell a story to someone and you start it off by saying 'oh man, this one time...', and then someone will interupt you by saying "this one time, at band camp..." and then they look at you like they're funny and thought of that themselves(whereas by itself it doesn't make a lick of sense), SO JUST SHUT UP AND DON'T EVER SWALLOW OR SPIT YOUR SALIVA FOR AS LONG AS YOU CAN BEFORE YOU DIE OR AT LEAST NEVER THINK ABOUT ME AGAIN BECAUSE I'LL DIE A HAPPY MAN IF THIS WERE TO OCCUR. The one person I have in mind where I'm typing this is A PREACHER'S DAUGHTER and she DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT MOVIE IT WAS OFF OF!!!@!2!@1!!! HOLY FRICK!!@!21@!1!!!! I asked her if she even knew what the closing joke on that line was and she didn't even know!!! Who do you think you are??? Holy crap I wanted to jump off the empire state building with a rope tied to my 'nads I was so overwhelmed with the stupidity of the situation.


6. When people say "aaaaw, muffin."

I think it's stupid, I can't believe how stupid it sounds. Usually the person saying it will laugh at themselves afterwards. I myself laugh at my jokes, because I think that everything I say or do is awesome, and most people can hardly grasp such an exponential degree of awesome at once, if at all. The difference here is that these people are not awesome. These people try to sound like a little kid, thinking that if what they're about to say won't be funny, they can make up for it by being cute.

SHUT
UP
YOU
ARENT
CUTE
WHEN
YOURE
STUPID
AND
I
BET
THE
CUTEST
YOUVE
EVER
BEEN
WAS
WHEN
YOUR
PARENTS
MISTOOK
YOU
FOR
DEAD
WHEN
YOU
WERE
BORN

Notice that most of these peeves started with 'when people say...' because people taken as a whole, I can't stand.
Well my blood pressure just went up about a hundred and fifty points(I don't know if that's alot or a little), I'm gonna go take a cold shower now.

75

I realize that these last eight days must have been hell for all of you, without constant updates on my life, you must all be helter-skelter.

Hmm, what to say, what to say...

Well as you may not somehow know, we (being the school) registered for our classes for the up and coming 2005-2006 school year. I must say I'm pretty excited, as grade 12 is totally on the way and the next step after that is as you should know, college. The school has brought forth a slew of new classes, one of which includes the sort of thing that I intend to pursue for the rest of my life. So as you can guess, that has me pretty pumped and I'm looking forward for what my life has to offer.

10 things I learned in Time magazine today

1. Kim Jong II has NUCLEAR WEAPONS?!??! HOLY CRAP!!! - I knew about this a weekish ago, but still, that's very discontenting. Time thinks that this only deserves about a two page article with a footnote on "Cracks in Kim's world", telling us that the problem will roll over after awhile.

2. The American military changed their uniforms for the first time in 22 years - It says there are 22 changes done on the uniform. But they only give me three! This is kind of interesting for once!

3. Picture of Howard Dean being a douchebag -
I don't even know who Howard Dean is.

4. Keanu Reeves is an introvert - If you pick up this copy of Time, you'll find alot of effort in trying to make Keanu Reeves seem like some suffered artist. Including another lame picture. Keanu Reeves gets an article almost as long as Kim Jong II.

5. It takes a star-nosed mole 0.23 seconds to eat one mouthful - These are are the ugliest things I've ever seen.

6. I finally figured out what The Gates were for in Central Park.

7. Female soldiers use their sexuality as an interrogation weapon - Yah umm... really weird article. Not really sure how I feel about this.

8. Two very unflattering pictures of both Jean Chretien and Paul Martin - No real surprise, Time always tries to make Canada look stupid. Take last week's magazine on Canada's medicare for instance.

9. Donnie Darko deserves the tag "cult classic" - No it doesn't.

10. Doctors in New York City encountered a patient whose immune system crashed within weeks of his initial HIV infection, a process that usually takes years. Possible new strain of the virus? - That's horribly discomforting.


All in all, Time magazine isn't that great. I don't know why my dad subscribes to it. I swear I don't go out of my way to read it either.

Post 73

you are: the spin kick! You are dangerous when done
in a small space, people are scared crapless of
you!


Which moshpit move are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Post 72



Today I had an interesting msn conversation with someone named...

'wutever.poisons.in.this.bottle.will.leaveme.brokn.sore.n.stiff.but.its *BREATH* the.genie.at.theBottom.im.suckin.at.He.owes.me.1.last.wish'.

I never thought I'd see the day where I'd meet someone who was less articulate than Brandon Wiebe on msn. But today was that day!

hi whos this
....
uuh I thin my msn name spells it out pretty nicely (my msn name was kevinKirkpatrick)
and by thin I really mean think
how u get mah msn
you gave it to me
today
this morning
where?
in Swift Current
ringing any bells?
uhh yeah its not jen thou im just confussed who you were
i knew she's outta town thou
what jenna do in swift current this morn
she was at the camp reunion I do declare
you goto that camp aswell
I used to, I was just visiting for old time's sake
ic, so jen was at the camp or w/e
or you guys goto into swift current?
yes
4?
what?
what go to swift current for
well I live in Swift Current
ic but why did she goto swift current i meant or w/e
anything interesting i was just wonderin
havn't talk to jen yet, just trying to see what kinda fun she was up ta
i told her to have a good time
so why was shee thurr?
she went to go to the camp reunion, as well as I, but I didn't know she would be thee. while I was there she gave me her email address.
oh ic
i thought u meant she went to swift current or w/e and seen you/ gave you her email
so i was puzzled why she was there, instead of za camp
man im a bored kid hah
haha well alright
what all do at the camp
/ what kinda stuff did she do or get to do
fun things or what
what kinda stuff go on when you were there sir
I was only there for like half the time. so I can't really give an accurate description of what all went on.
but yes, I think they were having fun at least
ahh
cool
she was happy correctomongo
?
well she got to see me, so what kind of girl wouldn't be happy?
hah
im sure she'll be even happier, to see me.
haaardly
how so
well I must say I'm the most awesome person I know, so that's reason enough right there
but sir, i transend the friendship bond farther then you with her, so wouldn't that make me more awesome
in her opinion?
hah iujno
i got nothing
but your her friend
and who are you?
mbb
what is that supposed to mean?
you asked who i am
and i said mbb
so i guess its my name?
your name is mbb?
no but thats what you can call me
many of others already do.
jen for instance.
well im off to work
goodbye
what the crap just happened?

I felt bad talking to this person throughout, it felt like I was making fun of a handicapped person or something. I mean, 'what go to swift current for'? Are you kidding me? Good heavens. Some people's children.

This is post 71 since I started my blog which was on April 2nd 2004. That means my blog will be one year old in 50 days. I'm hoping to reach 100 posts on that date. Just thought I'd give myself some sort of goal in life.

Today I made a certain girl a birthday present to top all birthday presents. I recorded, mixed, and printed off a CD just for her. I thought it would take like 45 minutes of dedication to see me through it all, but it actually took about an hour and a half. I lost my vision sometime through it all because it actually fell short a little bit in it's intended aweseomeness.

I hope she enjoys it. I wouldn't be able to live with myself is she didn't *crushed*!

I am in the physics computer lab as I write this. I have Fiona Lubega (like the mambo no. 5 guy) on my left and Allie Johnston on my right. I am currently taking a Coca Cola Classic into my bodily system. We are working on an assignment of which we are doing a terrible job. most likely because I am doing a blog as opposed to actually helping them.


Words of Wisdom for the day:

"So are we gonna staple these together?
-Fiona Lubega

Put some new stuff up on my dmusic site.

Enjoi

Have you ever been overwhlemed with love for people? On friday in the middle of physics class, I was talking with this girl when suddenly I lost my breath. All of a suddenly I saw how much she meant to me and how beautiful she was, I couldn't speak and was left with my mouth hanging open. It was mind-numbing how much I cared for her. I couldn't stop staring into her eyes and loving her. I don't think I've ever felt that way about a person before.


"Let's show them how to live. Accept the pain, always forgive."
-Second Place Victory by This Day and Age

"Lay yourself underneath my shelter and know that I love you
Rest, you weary masses, I want you always to keep dreaming."
-A piece I wrote

The Stolen Girlfriend


Fine, I'll admit it. I have a cold. I can't even remember the last time I've had a cold.
I'm a chronic bed-voice person-where you voice is made weird after you sleep-, and you know how when you go super low and you make those croaks like a frog? (No? Well suffer through this explanation anyways) It was way like that, but muchos lower pitched, and I was beyond the point of comprehension. When I was talking with my mom she couldn't tell what I was saying unless I went slow and over-enunciated every syllable. It was an effort to speak, like more wind was coming out of my lungs than normal so I had to stop and breath more often that usual. So because of this I couldn't even get some joy by singing to my favourite songs. I've had a headache all freaking day. I know it could be a million times worse times a million, but I feel like absolute garbage.

That whole paragraph had an e e cummings feel to it,.

Shreddies taste good when you're eating them, but not as good after you've swallowed them. And of course you can only eat them with some sugar sprinkled on the top.


"Up until then, what I'd mostly felt was sorry for him. Everything I'd done since he started showing up at the barracks had been based on that comfortable pity. Because all that time when he'd been washing windows and raking leaves and snowblowing his way through the drifts in the back parking lot, all that time he'd kept his head down. Meekly down. You didn't have to contend with his eyes. You didn't have to ask yourself any questions, because pity is comfortable. Isn't it? Pity put you right up on top. Now he had lifted his head, he was using my own words back at me, and there was nothing meek in his eyes. He though he had a right, and that made me mad. He thought I had a responsibilty-that what was being said out here wasn't a gift being given but a debt being repaid-and that made me madder. That he was right made me maddest of all. I felt like shoving the heel of my hand up into the shelf of his chin and knocking him spang off the bench. He thought he had a right and I wanted to make him sorry."
-From A Buick 8, by Stephen King

Guest entry blog done by none other than FUZZY BLUMPKIN****

Today I walked into the library, and Kevin was sitting at the computer. I was like "Oh wow! I can't handle all this hotness at one computer!" So I walked over and sat next to him. It was very difficult to restrain myself from wrapping my arms around him and confessing my undying love. His gorgeous blue eyes looked into mine, and he said those words that I had been longing to hear all my life: "Hey you..."
I swooned, and fell down into the chair next to him. And thus began our ever unfolding love story...

****Name changed to hide identity!!!!!

Just a little while ago I was listening to the song 99 luftballons (of which is the original 99 red balloons song, in German) and I swear I heard the lady vocalist person say "kevin kuh" I looked into this song and discvered that it was written for me. I know it was popular in the early '80s, but these guys must be just that dedicated to want to write a song about me, so they somehow transcended the laws of time and space in order to do it.


First Verse: Translated from German

You and I in a little toy shop
Buy a bag of balloons with the money we've got
Set them free at the break of dawn
'till one by one they were gone
Back at base, sparks in the software
Flash the message "something's out there"
Floating in the summer sky
Ninety nine red balloons go by

2nd Line: You see, Nena (the artist of the song) know about my recent monetary woes, and since 99 red balloons wouldn't cost that much in a 'little toy shop'. They know I can't afford alot so that's their way of making it seem subtle to others, but making it blaringly obvious to me.

3rd Line: Is relating to my favourite movie, Dead By Dawn. In the movie, these demons in the house tell the main character Ash that he'll be dead by dawn, which is a way of saying they'll be 'setting him free'.

4th Line: In Dead By Dawn, Ash kills the demons off one by one.

5th line: This is a clever nod to my recent email account problems that have been plaguing me.

6th Line: I have high suspicions of my emailing trouble to have occured because spyware, of which would require an individual accessing my private information. Someone is indeed out there.

7th & 8th: In summer of 2006, my friend and I are going to be travelling the states going to as many shows as we can and following tours around and the whole shebang, and the money will fly through the air (remember how the balloons were talking about money) because we'll have to be spending so much of it in order to do so.

All this aside, the lyrics to the song are just amazing really. Too bad that one punk band (I can't even bother myself to look up who it was) did a gong show of a cover to it.

I'm out!

Take note of the quotes at the side. You want to be there? Just say it out loud to me and I'll put it there. Then it won't be quite so lame. Also look at all the stuff at the bottom, you should check all of those down there for endless fun.